Hi, it’s Jennifer Alexander and I read Russell Brands blog online today.
He wrote that when you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. There will be a phone call he says. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they've had enough, that they're ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it's too late, she's gone.
Russell Brand knows what he’s talking about because he finally conquered his heroin addiction at the age of 27 which is how old Amy was when she passed away.
During my 12 years of being a therapist I’ve worked with many people who suffer from additions. Using hypnotherapy as my prime modality for helping people change, one of the biggest areas of addiction I’ve seen is addictions to food, cigarettes and alcohol. One of my most fascinating areas to work with though is women who stay in abusive relationships. These women in a way are addicted to playing the role of the victim which is no different than any other person with a substance addiction.
The reason people become addicted to substances is because what they are really addicted to is playing the role of the victim. Knowing this basic element of human behavior is how I’ve helped so many people overcome their addictions within 6 sessions or less.
You see, the problem is never the external substance or in terms of relationships the other person. It always comes down to how the individual feels about themselves on the inside.
People who have witnessed abuse as kids, or worse have directly experienced it themselves, become very familiar with feelings such as fear, defeat, embarrassment, shame, guilt, anger, hatred, self doubt, self pity, etc.… in essence feeling like a victim.
Another basic human principle is that we all function out of the Pain-Pleasure Syndrome. It’s probably not what you’re thinking so let me explain. At an unconscious level what is Pleasure is that which is familiar to us and what is Painful is that which is unfamiliar to us. You see how this works?
When people feel like a victim at a young age they carry those victim feelings with them for the rest of their life, or until they seek out a therapist like me who knows how to effectively change this unconscious pattern.
As humans we are always moving towards what is Pleasurable to us; that which is familiar and we are always moving away from what is Painful to us; that which is unfamiliar. So for the people who at a young age experienced negative feelings they become addicted to them because it is a known which then become Pleasurable… but only at an unconscious level of course because you will constantly hear these same people things like, “I want to stop” or “I want to get out”, etc. but most never do because they are trapped inside their own mind which is running off of the Pain-Pleasure Syndrome. And one of the saddest things is, is most therapists have no idea how to reprogram the mind and so their clients never get better.
Because of the Pain-Pleasure Syndrome, this is also why many people consciously say they want more money but never seem to make it so. When I look deeper into what’s going on for these people 9 out of 10 times during their childhood their parents were broke. Therefore being broke is what is familiar and therefore Pleasurable and having lots of money is unfamiliar and it is therefore Painful.
It’s amazingly simple, really and if you know how to reprogram the mind you can live an amazing life achieving the goals you set for yourself. But if you don’t good luck getting what you really want in life.
Hey, but if you're reading this blog then it means you likely already know how to reprogram your Pain-Pleasure Syndrome to get the results you want in your life because you're a student of mine so no worries for you!!! Please make sure you leave your feedback and a comment on this blog so I can respond to you.